Editor’s note: Last month my doctor told me that I had a serious case of the shivers and creeps, as a result he restricted my film diet to Hollywood fare like 2011’s The Thing and Don’t be Afraid of the Dark, you know, movies that aren’t all that scary. Unfortunately, this means that I am unable to watch the terrifying shorts at Little Terrors, the monthly horror short film festival in Toronto. I sent horror correspondent Phil Graves in my place last time, and considering his sometimes less than tactful manner I expected some angry e-mails from sensitive readers. I only received one comment, a letter sitting on my desk:
Dear Entertainment Maven,
I really dug the coverage of Little Terrors by the despicably talented Phil Graves. You should really give him a raise, buy him a new shovel, and send him to cover a Toronto After Dark film.
Phil Bill Traves
Thanks for your comments Bill. I’ve decided to let Phil return today with coverage of Little Terrors Volume 4. As you already seem to know, I will be covering every Toronto After Dark Film, and tickets are still available to many shows, but going fast. I will consider your idea of sending Phil to cover one of the films, but don’t get your hopes up.
Readers, for the second time, I give you Phil Graves. God help us all.
The 6th Annual Toronto After Dark Film Festival, 8 Nights of Horror, Sci-Fi, Action, and Cult Movies runs Oct 20-27, 2011 at the Toronto Underground Cinema. For complete festival info visit www.torontoafterdark.com
These miserable economic times are really starting to bring me down. Just last night I had to make my dreaded stew with some of the scrawniest rats I’ve ever seen, the fat ones must have moved on to the swanky cemetery on the rich side of town. I even tried hosting a singles night at the cemetery to scare up some extra cash, but two-for-one burials in the same casket didn’t seem to grab people’s attention. Only one chap showed up. He was fairly insistent on waiting for a pretty lady to join him, but it was getting late so I buried him for half the price. He tried to argue for a later burial date, but I couldn’t do him wrong. I’m an honest business man.
As I was saying, times are tough, but luckily eight bucks still gets you into Little Terrors, the monthly horror short film festival at The Projection Booth in Toronto. Little Terrors is presented by the nameless amorphous creature that Rue Morgue keeps behind lock and key in their basement, and the insane film-making scientists at Unstable Ground. It should be noted that grotesque creation Justin McConnell has been stitching together some of the most frightening shorts out there, with the result being two-hour sojourns into madness.
Little Terrors Volume 4 was by far the most unsettling night yet. The haunting Danse Macabre, the unfathomable employment depicted in Tea Break, and the descent into zombie mayhem aptly titled Axed, caused me to miss a fair bit of shuteye later that night. In fact, I had to sleep with my cemetery issued night light on, specifically reserved for these type of episodes. I may be a sick bastard, but I’m still human, kind of.
The creators of animated shorts Raven’s Hollow and Scayrecrow also managed to make my heart skip a beat. And here I thought animated movies were for kiddies. Finally, the Lovecraft inspired Black Goat gave the audience a glimpse of eldritch horrors. With a feature length film potentially looming on the horizon, this could be one to keep an eye on.
The next installment of Little Terrors will be shown on Tuesday, November 22nd at 8pm. Join the Facebook page for unseemly updates. Remember dear readers, if I don’t see you at Little Terrors, but see you somewhere else instead, you had better hope that I don’t have my shovel with me, and a soft patch of dirt nearby.