How to Survive a Horror Movie
Debuting on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital Copy October 23rd
Now that horror fans have the backstory on the hillbilly cannibals’ “Bloody Beginnings”, the franchise rejoins the infamous disfigured brothers as they return when WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINES debuts on unrated Blu-ray, DVD and, for the first time ever, Digital Copy on October 23. This all-new terrifying film boasts the talent of horror movie veteran Doug Bradley (Hellraiser), along with Game of Thrones’ Roxanne McKee.
So, you’re lost in the woods, you can’t find your friends, and there’s a psychotic killer on the loose? Boy, it sure sucks to be you! Too bad you didn’t have this handy how-to guide to tell you the dos and don’ts of escaping a savage murderer. Follow these four simple tips, and you just might make it to the end of the credits.
Do – Pick Up Stray Weapons
If you’re running through the woods and you happen upon a stray shovel, an axe stuck in a tree, a hefty branch, or any other even mildly useful item, PICK IT UP. If you have to go up against with a deformed villain, shouldn’t you be armed? It seems only fair that you put yourself on even ground with your would-be assassin. On a related note, if you do happen to knock out your assailant, continue attacking them! Isn’t it always the case that our heroes think that their foe is kaput, and then they return for bloody, bloody vengeance? That’s why you should keep attacking them until there is no possible way they’re still alive! And then run. And keep your weapon, just in case.
Do – Use Common Sense
I know you’re frightened, and you should be. But don’t let common sense escape you! A little coherent thought can go a long way when you’re running for your life. For instance, if something looks like a trap, it probably is. If you have a cell phone, or a compass, or a map, use it (quietly, in the case of a cell phone – or, better yet, send a text). If you know that you’re finally somewhere safe, don’t go outside again to look for your friend who has mysteriously disappeared. If your attacker is locked up or contained in some way, leave them there and then run for your life – do not let them persuade you in any way! Basically, try to keep your wits about you, and make good choices.
Don’t – Trust Strangers You Meet, Ever
Chances are this stranger that you think is your only hope for survival is likely not wandering through the woods, the dark and/or deserted town, etc. just for the heck of it. They’re probably also a savage killer, or in cahoots with the original murderous fiend that was in hot pursuit of you, and they most likely will take you to their car, or cabin, and start pulling out the “tools:” chainsaws, hedge trimmers, knives, saws, etc. And everything will be rusty. So, mom’s old advice, “Don’t talk to strangers!” still holds true.
Don’t – Investigate Strange Noises
If you hear a strange noise while on the lam from a vicious killer, for the love of God, don’t go investigate it! No good will come of this. Seriously. Along those same lines, never, ever ask, “Who’s there?” I can guarantee you that you don’t want to know the answer to that question.
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