Wrong Turn 5 Blu-Ray Review (Kirk Haviland)

Wrong Turn 5 Blu-Ray

Starring Doug Bradley, Camilla Arfwedson and Simon Ginty

Written and Directed by Declan O’Brien

New on Blu-Ray from our friends at Fox Home Entertainment is the newest entry in the mostly direct-to-video series Wrong Turn, Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines. The original Wrong Turn was a passable genre romp that has somehow managed to spawn four sequels, the last three being directed by O’Brien. But should the series have ended before it started?

In Wrong Turn 5 we begin in a small West Virginia town that is hosting the legendary Mountain Man Festival on Halloween. The concert is where throngs of costumed party goers, some in traditional Halloween Garb, others dressed as deformed hillbillies, gather for a wild night of music and mischief. But the inbred family of hillbilly cannibals, Three Finger, One Eye and Saw Tooth that are in all of these films, kill the fun by trying to abduct a group of vacationing College students. The plan goes awry when the group’s patriarch, Maynard (Bradley) is arrested by the local Sherriff (Arfwedson). The three ‘boys’ go on all out killing spree, decimating everyone in their path to recovering their Uncle Maynard.

Wrong Turn 5 is an utter disaster. The acting is porous and extremely amateurish, even Bradley, Pinhead himself, is a lame duck sitting here. In Bradley’s defence the script is poor and almost non-existent, the “plot” simply there to drive us from one kill scene to the next. In many ways this feels like a ten year old uneducated horror junkie’s idea of a masterpiece. I will say that the location was good, as somehow they found a convincing enough part of Bulgaria to play the West Virginia town the film takes place in.  But the actual sets are poorly constructed, the jail house and a particular store that are key locations to the plot both look very fake. In fact the jail cells do not appear to have locks on them all, prompting Arfwedson to laughably “airlock” and unlock the cells.

The kills, the main reason these films still get made, are lacklustre and unoriginal. We’ve seen these all before and done way better. The limited budget is most evident in the particularly low budget effects work. Most of the practical effects here, while I can admire their commitment to use practical effects, could be better realized and rendered by film school students. I have seen films with micro budgets, like indie comedy Manborg deliver much better practical work with a fraction of the tools available.

The entire cast is from the UK, filming in Bulgaria, pretending to have U.S. accents. Why this was not a warning light I do not know, as there is more than one actor here that cannot convince us they are faking an accent. And the constant cackling of one of our main killers here, especially in the last act of the film, is not fear inducing or tension building, but grating and downright painful.

The Blu-Ray includes a very uninspired couple of behind the scenes featurettes, an actually effective set of director diaries, and an audio commentary by the director. As fun as the director’s video diaries are, it is nowhere near enough to compensate for the rest.

Ultimately the last people in this process I can blame are those at Fox Home Entertainment. These films still sell and make the studio tons of money. That said Wrong Turn 5 is awful. I did not think I would give a harsher criticism to a film than I did for Inbred, but I was sorely wrong. Do not buy, rent or stream Wrong Turn 5, it is strongly, strongly not recommended.

Till Next Time,

Movie Junkie TO

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CONTEST: Win a copy of Wrong Turn 5:Bloodlines on Blu-Ray

We have another contest here at Entertainment Maven: two copies of Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines on Blu-Ray to give away to two lucky winners. This time, the kind people at Fox Home Entertainment have provided us with the Blu-Rays and here’s how you win a copy. Try not to take any wrong turns along the way.

Please note that the contest is only open to individuals who are at least 18 years of age and who live in Canada or the US. Only one entry per person. Winners will be chosen at random from a pool of entrants who have completed the following steps. The contest will close at 11:59pm on Sunday, October 28th, 2012.

1. ‘Like’ our Facebook page by clicking this link and then ‘like’, or by going directly to www.entertainmentmaven.com and clicking ‘Like’

2. Follow us on Twitter @entertainmaven

3. E-mail us at entertainmentmaven@gmail.com, putting Wrong Turn as the subject, and tell us your full name, shipping address (no PO boxes please) and the most important way (in your opinion) to survive a horror movie from the Wrong Turn Horror Movie Survival Guide.

Winners will be contacted at the e-mail address used to enter the contest.

Wrong Turn 5 Survival Guide (Upcoming Contest)

How to Survive a Horror Movie

Debuting on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital Copy October 23rd

Now that horror fans have the backstory on the hillbilly cannibals’ “Bloody Beginnings”, the franchise rejoins the infamous disfigured brothers as they return when WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINES debuts on unrated Blu-ray, DVD and, for the first time ever, Digital Copy on October 23. This all-new terrifying film boasts the talent of horror movie veteran Doug Bradley (Hellraiser), along with Game of Thrones’ Roxanne McKee.

So, you’re lost in the woods, you can’t find your friends, and there’s a psychotic killer on the loose?  Boy, it sure sucks to be you! Too bad you didn’t have this handy how-to guide to tell you the dos and don’ts of escaping a savage murderer.  Follow these four simple tips, and you just might make it to the end of the credits.

Do – Pick Up Stray Weapons

If you’re running through the woods and you happen upon a stray shovel, an axe stuck in a tree, a hefty branch, or any other even mildly useful item, PICK IT UP. If you have to go up against with a deformed villain, shouldn’t you be armed? It seems only fair that you put yourself on even ground with your would-be assassin. On a related note, if you do happen to knock out your assailant, continue attacking them! Isn’t it always the case that our heroes think that their foe is kaput, and then they return for bloody, bloody vengeance? That’s why you should keep attacking them until there is no possible way they’re still alive! And then run. And keep your weapon, just in case.

Do – Use Common Sense

I know you’re frightened, and you should be. But don’t let common sense escape you! A little coherent thought can go a long way when you’re running for your life. For instance, if something looks like a trap, it probably is. If you have a cell phone, or a compass, or a map, use it (quietly, in the case of a cell phone – or, better yet, send a text). If you know that you’re finally somewhere safe, don’t go outside again to look for your friend who has mysteriously disappeared. If your attacker is locked up or contained in some way, leave them there and then run for your life – do not let them persuade you in any way! Basically, try to keep your wits about you, and make good choices.

Don’t – Trust Strangers You Meet, Ever

Chances are this stranger that you think is your only hope for survival is likely not wandering through the woods, the dark and/or deserted town, etc. just for the heck of it. They’re probably also a savage killer, or in cahoots with the original murderous fiend that was in hot pursuit of you, and they most likely will take you to their car, or cabin, and start pulling out the “tools:” chainsaws, hedge trimmers, knives, saws, etc. And everything will be rusty. So, mom’s old advice, “Don’t talk to strangers!” still holds true.

Don’t – Investigate Strange Noises

If you hear a strange noise while on the lam from a vicious killer, for the love of God, don’t go investigate it! No good will come of this. Seriously.  Along those same lines, never, ever ask, “Who’s there?” I can guarantee you that you don’t want to know the answer to that question.

Stay locked in at Entertainment Maven for a chance to win a copy of Wrong Turn 5 on Blu-Ray!

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